#the wheeler family

[thefirstlioveyou]

How Smalltown Boy Connects with Mike's Relationship with his Parents

I can't get over how they chose Smalltown Boy for the FIRST track on Mike's playlist. I just can't. That's the gayest thing ever. Gayer than his staring I fear. The lyrics perfectly fit him, but not only because he's a closeted homosexual. It's also highlighting his dynamic with his family.

Of course, if we are getting into specifics, Smalltown Boy is a song about a young gay man running away from his homophobic home and town to live in the city to somewhere he can be himself. But generally, it's a song about not belonging and not feeling understood within a place, and the crippling loneliness that comes with it. So you seek a place where you can feel accepted and heard.

Struggling to figure out your place in the world, struggling with your sexuality and relationships, facing severe bullying, wanting to be understood and seen by your family for who you actually are while still struggling to accept who you are to begin with, desiring the escape from the place that brings you all those unmanageable problems -- That's Mike Wheeler.

"Mother will never understand why you had to leave, but the answers you seek will never be found at home. The love that you need will never be found at home"

Obviously, the actual plot of the music video features homophobic parents. I don't believe Karen is, and I see Ted as more brainwashed yet careless. But "the love that you need will never be found at home" reminds me of the Wheeler family's emotional distance and lack of actual attention, and how it's damaging Mike especially. Nancy's already seen right through the bullshit. Mike hasn't.

I don't see them as the worst parents on the planet, but they're haven't been great. They have questionable parenting choices and the show wants us to pick up on that. If you haven't yet asked yourself "where the hell are his parents?" at least ONCE while watching ST, then idk lmao.

Come on. Not knowing your son has been hiding a whole child in your basement for a week?

Never talking to your son about his best friend's death and instead letting him take the responsibility to go to you first?

Not taking concern as to why your son is suddenly misbehaving at school? And instead, you force your child to get rid of 2 boxes worth of toys that hold emotional value to him (while mocking him for having said emotional connection)?

Not even being aware that your child is constantly bullied physically and verbally, and not even questioning visible marks that could indicate that sort of abuse?

Although it's unintentional and we see Karen aware that it's wrong, you're still essentially teaching your child that 1) their feelings or voice do not matter 2) they cannot trust or rely on you 3) their 'childish' interests that make them who they are do not matter and are something they need move on from because they "have to."

And we see this play out.

If his parents can't even accept his innocent interests or show more consideration for them, if it just makes him a future high school dropout or a failure, what makes Mike believe they'd ever accept he's Gay?

Mike NEEDS a support system. He NEEDS parents who care MORE instead of waiting until government is at their doorstep. That type of love has not been consistent whatsoever at the Wheelers. To Mike, that kind of love cannot be found in his home. The answers to his problems cannot be found in his home. In fact, his upbringing is a big reason why he's in this complicated relationship with El to begin with. and he's accepted all that to be fine, despite us seeing how it's turning him into someone unable to manage their emotions who struggles with their relationships communication-wise.

"And as hard as they would try they'd hurt to make you cry. But you never cried to them, just to your soul. No, you never cried to them, just to your soul"

This refers to the severe bullying he faces that Mike confirms he's put up with all his life (just for it to be shut down immediately). His parents aren't aware. If Karen, his own mother, doesn't question a giant scab on his chin but some girl who is barely learning what friends are does, don't you think that says something?

"I'm here for you" doesn't mean anything if you aren't actively trying to actually be there. you have to look harder. look at what's right in front of you.

Sure, his mom hugs him! But I really hope we can all agree physical affection isn't the only thing that a child needs to trust. There is reason behind why we've never actually seen them talk about anything that's actually bothering him. Mike is not yet convinced he can go to his parents about the things we know he's facing, and the things that are implied that he's facing. Instead he handles it alone as a result of just "letting him come when he's ready."

The only adult who wasn't afraid to actually talk to him and not let his emotions bottle up was...

"Pushed around and kicked around, always a lonely boy. You were the one that they'd talk about around town as they put you down."

Part of this could be about his bullying experience in general, but I also believe this was foreshadowing for events in S5. Mike and the rest of hellfire are now targets and deemed part of a satanic cult. The whole town are against them and want them gone. Going from to feeling insecure for your 'childish' interests because of your parents, to becoming accepting of that part again, to now wanting to be killed for it by your town. Ain't that nice? Won't that gonna do wonders for this boy? :)

I actually predict they will take some inspiration next season from the hate crime scene in the music video. Perhaps The Hellfire Club/The Core Four/Mike will be attacked and Mike will be brought home/come home beaten.

In the actual music video, the boy's parents find out he's gay from that and they do not accept it.

However, in the show, I think it'll be focused on him being in Hellfire (since DND is a metaphor for gay love between Mike and Will). I imagine it'll be like, "Michael, why are you still associating with them? You know what would happen!" They'd get mad at him for essentially "walking right into it himself." This sets off conflict in the Wheeler Family this season. Mike finally snaps at them, telling them it was bound to happen anyway. He mentions the bullying he's already delt with his whole life. He sees his parents' sudden care in his life as BS and how it had to take the entire town to hate him for them to finally see him.

Another scene they could parallel within this one scene (or in another) could be Jack McPhee's coming out scene from Dawson's Creek, a show the Duffers loved growing up. We often see parallels to that show when it comes to the show's drama, primarily with the El-Mike-Will Love triangle to the Joey-Dawson-Jen Triangle. Mike is also heavily paralleled to Jack McPhee.

In the coming out scene, Jack tells his emotionally neglectful father (who is definitely worse than Ted) - "I was different. And as hard as you've tried to stamp it out and ignore it, I have tried harder than you to be quiet and to forget it and to not bother my family with my problem."

If this doesn't sum up what's going on then idk what does.

It's not that his parents hate him for what they know about him, but they also aren't supportive either. They ignore him. They ignore everything outside of their own little bubble. They close themselves from the truth of what's going on in the town. They close themselves from their kids. They push them to hide and stay quiet, but that's just not who Mike and Nancy are.

We also know we're into some Wheeler drama this season considering all the leaks with Karen/Holly(?)/Henry and the interview with Joe Chrest (Ted's Actor). So scenes like this aren't far off the table.

Mike is a character that is struggling overall with his place in the world and identity. He is struggling with his self worth, his sexual orientation, his relationships, accepting the interests that make him who he is. He is conforming to societal pressures (much similar to his parents) because he doesn't know where else to go. He is confused. He struggles with self-worth and severe insecurity. He does not feel needed unless he is actively doing someone of service to the point of sacrificing his life, much like a superhero, hence his fixation of them. Superheroes are people who are wanted, who are heard and seen - Something Mike feels he isn't.

He's growing up in a small and conservative town, internalizing the homophobia he witnesses, internalizing what he HAS to be and has to feel - He has to want girls (and yeah, believe it or not, homophobia still impacts queer people regardless who it's directed to. there's reason why we see mike's reaction over anyone else's). But he just can't, yet he still tries because otherwise that'd be falling off a "normal path." He has to get rid of his toys and grow up to keep on a "normal path." He has to conform because he fears what would happen if you don't. That's something he's unfamiliar with.

Mike needs to be finally seen by his family. His overall major struggle with conformity stems from there. It's what he needs emotionally, but it also makes sense narratively. It has to be from them. His whole arc along with them is to break free from their conformity, and it starts with the facing their truths as a family.

Mike won't end up making the choice the boy has to in the music video. In the end, he will have his family's support and acceptance. He will be able to be true to who he is. He will accept himself. He won't need to runway in fear. I do still believe he will leave Hawkins (with Will). It just won't be on a bad note!!

[thegayhimbo]

Stranger Things Spoilers on X: "Nell Fisher, who recently starred in Red Dead Evil, is rumored to be joining the cast of #StrangerThings5 as the new recast of Holly Wheeler! https://t.co/qLRnrv51vh" / X

Are they planning to give Holly a larger role in S5, and maybe even have Holly join her siblings and the Party in their fight against Vecna?

I know she's 6 in S4, but if they're doing the two year time jump, she'll be 8 by 1988, and could arguably contribute more story-wise beyond just being a background character.

[your-friendly-neighbourh00d-fag]

(^ he gets boyfriend priveleges from argyle. if you even care.)

[messrsbyler]

because of his family’s neglect, mike has learned there’s no used on being loud and ask for help because people won’t come to his aid. he’s learned his problems and vulnerability doesn’t matter and if anything it makes people step away, so instead of showing it he hides it and turns to people to care for them hoping that they won’t walk away if they need him, and to guarantee they’ll need him mike will not show his weaknesses so others won’t doubt if they can rely on him or not.

because of her family’s neglect, nancy learned to be completely independent and go after the things she wants on her own, asking for little help if any. she’s gotten so used to not being looked after or heard (something that’s drilled in her brain even deeper during her time on the hawkin’s post) that she’s grown to be apathetic to most people when first meeting them (example: robin) and even more so with the members of her own family (mike especially)

[uselessnbee]

actually

i have decided

i am gatekeeping Mike Wheeler from his parents

he's my son now

they suck and can fuck off they are not allowed to have any interaction with him or opinions on him or anything

i will protect him with my life and will personally fist fight them

i will find a way to get teleported into the show just so can bitch slap them for hurting my son (and Nancy too) i swear

[faramirsonofgondor]

There is something so interesting about the Wheeler kids! Like they’re all super curious/ambitious children and it almost makes we worried for them, especially Holly. I also really like how their curiosity shows itself differently for each of them.

Nancy’s curiosity and ambition stemmed from wanting to find Barb in S1, then to seeking vengeance for Barb’s death in S2, then to prove herself in S3, and then to protect the group and seek answers for Fred’s death in S4.

Mike’s curiosity and ambition mostly stem from his desire to protect the party (mostly Will), in S1 his curiosity about Eleven and her background and what she knows is because he wants to get Will back, and in S2 his curiosity comes from trying to help Will figure out what’s going with him and the Mind Flayer. We get a few moments of curiosity from Mike in the later seasons as well but they’re not as obvious like the earlier seasons (for instance the little moments Mike checks on Will to make sure he’s okay, trying to understand Eleven’s point of view when shes upset with him in S4, etc.) I honestly think part of it is that he’s worried that if he keeps being curious and looking for danger then he’ll find it and someone will get hurt, so chooses to remain oblivious or not seek any deeper answers until he starts to realize that in doing so he’s hurting the people around him.

I think Hollys character is so interesting when it comes to her curiosity, mostly because it stems from her childhood innocence. Like her little moments of curiosity are really setting up something bigger for her character, she’s really one of the only character to get so close to and actually see the monsters from the Upside Down without knowing the whole truth. In S1, she’s the 1st person (other than Joyce, Will, and the people @ the lab) to see the demogorgon. In S3, she’s the one who first sees the Mind Flayer moving through the woods towards Hopper’s cabin. In S4 she notices the first few particles from the Upside Down. These are all things she just stumbles upon but it’s clear that she’s also very curious towards what’s going on.

However like I kinda said earlier with Mike, there is a lot of danger that comes with their curiosity. In S1, Nancy’s curiosity leads to her being trapped (briefly) in the Upside Down with Demogorgon,and Mike’s curiosity leads to him and the party being threatened multiple times because he’s harboring Eleven. In S2, while Nancy’s ambitions led to her exposing Hawkins Lab, it also means that the government is probably keeping a closer eye on her to make sure she doesn’t speak out. Mike’s curiosity in S2 leads to him emotional distress at many different points, considering he had to watch Will seize when the soldiers were burning the Upside Down, had to deal with the fear and realization that Will might forget who he is, had to watch a shit ton of people die in the lab and deal with the fact that he might not make it out of there, AND had to hear Joyce’s screams as Bob got ripped apart. He was honestly going through it that whole season. In S3, Nancy’s curiosity and ambition lead to her getting fired and then her having to Mrs Driscoll act all possessed and shit. Then in S4, Nancy’s curiosity indirectly leads to Fred’s death, as well as her own possession by Vecna.

All things considered I don’t really think that all of the Wheeler kids are gonna make it out of S5 unscathed.

[shippingfangirl013]

Anyone else realize after writing an analysis on the Wheeler family, that your own family IS the Wheeler family?

And you later realize you are simultaneously Nancy and Mike…?

Nancy, because she was kind of pushed into the role of being the emotionally available “adult” figure, and keeping the family together in a sense. . . the responsibility of sibling care can be deflected unto the eldest child at a young age and can sometimes cause some resentment for your younger siblings. Occasionally, you get the helicopter parenting style paired with the golden child trope and mothers living vicariously through you.

(I know that when I was younger, I didn’t understand why other kids were allowed to be kids, while I was basically helping to raise my siblings, and it made me a little bitter, but as I’ve gotten older, I became very close with my siblings.)

And Mike because I was also left to my own devices for hours. I was the “you’re mature for your age” kid, the kid that took charge in serious situations. Mike, as a character, has an innate desire to be needed by others and I think a lot of that had to do with his parents and how he was raised. At the deepest part of the character, he feels unwanted and unloved by his parents. The Wheeler kids feel like mistakes, because their parents are not emotionally available.

Ted and Karen are emotionally unavailable parents, and because of this, we frequently see that Mike struggles with talking to his parents. His mom tries to be there, but does Karen ever actively listen to her children? Nancy is constantly saying that Karen doesn’t listen to her (an argument I constantly have with my own mother), and Mike is never quick to open up to his mom either. It’s like walking on eggshells, because one wrong answer, one wrong opinion, and it’s like your parents (or at least my mom, in my case) will turn on you.

I’m just wondering if anyone else has noticed any parenting trends with the Wheeler family… they hit a little too close to home for me sometimes.

There could be more to it here, because nothing is ever just black and white, but this is just a bit of what I’ve noticed between my own family and the Wheeler family.

I had a much better worded draft of this post, but my phone died as I went to post it, and deleted the better version. So, now we’re dealing with version until I have the energy to update it.

[boysdontcryboycry]

ngl i'm actually so curious who of the Wheelers can actually Play the piano. like, can Mike or Nancy play? is it for Karen? Ted? because aside from the lamp on top of it always being on we also see the music sheets on it shift. sometimes there aren't any on the stand like in s1 but then later on there's music sheets propped up ready to sit down and play. so clearly it's not a rich middle class decorative piece. someone is actively playing this thing. and i wanna know who it is soooo bad

saaaaaaame like ! what are you DOING here man ! like does ted have an actual hobby? does karen? did they make either nancy or mike take lessons? do nancy or mike like playing piano? is this a musical household??? i need to know so badly why have the duffers done this to me

AAAAAAAAAAA

[thefirstlioveyou]

i was thinking abt how mike hugs karen every season except for season 2, then i remembered he hugged hopper that season instead. i realized hopper really was the hug he's needed from his father.... and you really want me to think he has a perfectly normal dynamic with his family ok!!

we also know this is meant to be hopper is filling in the role of a dad for mike because it's literally paralleled to another father/son moment with one single line:

hopper is taking a fatherly role in this scene for mike.

this parallel is obviously not implying hopper is bad like lonnie, or that ted is bad like lonnie. it's trying to say that hopper is the father jonathan and will need - a father who will talk to them without them needing to ask and can give them physical affection rather than abuse them for feeling their emotions.

hopper's care is the type of care mike needs from his own father - a father who will talk to him out of his own effort and will see through his misbehavior/flaws to find the pain underneath it all.

ted couldn't bother to question why mike was misbehaving as school and just painted him out as a brat, while hopper managed to see beyond the supposed brat's poor attempt to beat the shit out of him. hopper saw the pain ted couldn't care to look for.

note that jonathan is the one who asks lonnie to talk. hopper tells mike, no question. jonathan knows what he needed - an actual father. he knows the terrible man lonnie really is. he's aware of his needs. that's why he's the one that asks.

mike doesn't even consider what he's missing is a father figure because that's what emotional neglect specifically does - it doesn't even compute to you that what you feel is missing is actually parental care - until you actually have it or something similar. you're essentially taught to believe it is normal, so it never phases you. you're only left with the effects. (this is very true as someone who also has an emotionally absent father.) this is why hopper is the one to not ask him, but tell him they will talk. it even catches mike off guard:

i think mike will realize everything that's really wrong in his family and what needs to be fixed, and i think there will be something in store for ted and mike along these lines.

interview recap

[arimabari]

-sees Miku trending on twitter- fuck it. Idaho Miku

[jonathanbyersphd]

Oh, it is OVER for the Wheeler Siblings

[queen-of-hawkins-why-ler]

It’s that Byers family rizz. That kind of quirky, offbeat, maybe a little out there charm??? That underdog and low-key-kind-of-a-loser vibe??? The niche taste in music, thrifted clothes, shaggy haircut, and having to convince others that they’re not crazy energy??? Absolutely irresistible. It’s so funny that the Byers are canonically a weird and bullied, socially outcast family but that they all canonically have rizz 😭😭 Bc why is Jonathan pulling Nancy Wheeler??? Why does every girl who looks at Will want to kiss him??? Why is someone always talking Joyce on a date??? When you’re in a rizz competition and your opponent is the Byers family.

[messrsbyler]

went back to the scene in season 2 during the wheeler’s dinner, where karen is scolding mike for taking nancy’s money and lists him some of the things he’s done throughout the year and how this isn’t even strike three. maybe this is a reach, but i have a pretty cemented view on karen as a mother so… what karen says is “we’ve been patient michael” and for some reason that rang the alarms in my brain.

because karen says “we’ve been patient” as in “we’ve given you time and tolerated your bad behavior” and that just sits wrong with me. karen doesn’t say “we’ve been patient and understanding” or “we’ve been patient and there for you, but we can’t do more if you don’t work with us”. no. karen says “we’ve been patient” and then “this isn’t strike one. it’s not even strike three” and that sounds to me as in “we’ve given you time to lick your own wounds and we’ve overlooked your behaviour that clearly is a sign that something is wrong, but you still can’t get over the traumatic experience you went through on your own last year” a reach? maybe, but aligns with my view of karen.

it’s like back in season 1 when mike skips school and karen finds him at home. mike is so worried she’ll be mad at him (because it’s happened before that karen ignored mike being sick and sent him to school either way), but this time karen tells him she isn’t mad because she knows mike must be going through a lot with everything happening with will, and that’s where the scene stops. i don’t remember if this is the scene where she offers mike to go with her to get some shopping done or not and mike rejects her or what (i think that’s a different scene), but my point here is that karen sees mike is portraying an odd behavior (staying at home without telling anyone), she gives him a small talk, and then tolerates/overlooks said behavior. she doesn’t dig deeper to find the cause of said behavior, she just assumes she knows it and allows mike to act on it instead of truly being there for him with actions and not just words.

so when mike in season two is having all these problems at school with his bad behavior, karen is patient with him and overlooks it or doesn’t present any consequences to mike’s actions, letting him be and expecting him to get better with the power of time alone. and when mike doesn’t get better and karen deems she’s given him enough time, she punishes mike for not living up to expectations and not healing at the pace she set even though she’s not actively tried to help mike through his process. same with ted btw this applies for both of them.

mike’s parents set a timer on mike for him to heal of the trauma he underwent, and leave him alone to process it and heal from it on his own. or at least that’s what i get from that exchange at the table.

maybe i’m reaching, but i wouldn’t be surprised if mike’s parents did something like this…

oh, and this applies for nancy too with her trauma regarding barb’s death. we see nancy telling karen no one is listening to her, because it is true! when nancy was being interrogated and the cops paid more attention to a teen’s sexual life than the disappearance of yet another kid in town, karen didn’t have nancy’s back.

instead, once they go back home, karen reprimands nancy for lying to the cops and because she had sex with steve. karen is following her own agenda not seeing her daughter’s distress for her best friend, and nancy has to explode at her saying no one is listening.

and then in season two, knowing nancy’s friend is still missing, karen and ted still show no behavior of caring about nancy’s trauma or keeping an eye on nancy’s behavior and the signs that show she’s not okay. nancy returned home with alcohol spilled all over her, drunk out of her mind, brought back by a guy that isn’t her boyfriend late at night, and her parents didn’t notice a thing? and then nancy managed to go to murray’s house and spend the night away without any alarms activating in karen and ted’s head? even though nancy IS struggling with her trauma and guilt, so this is the moment for karen and ted to keep an eye in nancy’s behavior so they can be there for them. but they don’t, they just overlook because they expect things to be over and for their kids to have healed already. they aren’t involved in their process of healing, they just stand on the side and wait for their kids to push their way through.

just like how karen said “he’ll come to us when he’s ready,” she and ted keep waiting for their kids to be ready on their own and seek them out instead of being there for them.

[morganbritton132]

Steve Has Older Siblings AU: Robin Edition

In an ideal world, Steve’s family life is completely separate from everything important. But in an ideal world, monsters don’t exist so, you know.

1. Technically the first of Steve’s siblings that Robin meets is Jason because he came into Scoops Ahoy to be an asshole. Robin liked to see King Steve knocked down a peg or two more than the next person but not by a forty year old (he’s 32) loser who has nothing better to do on a Tuesday afternoon. Robin sees him knock Steve’s hat off his head and then informs him that they had a zero tolerance harassment policy (they don’t) and they can and are denying him service. “So leave, now.”

2. The first time she is aware that she’s meeting one of Steve’s siblings is after Starcourt burns down. They were drugged, tired, and Russians took Steve’s car keys so it felt like a good idea to just lay back on the hood of the Beemer and watch the smoke swirl in the air until they come up with what to do.

They never think of anything, and she is startled awake the next morning hungover and dehydrated by someone laying on their horn. Robin looks at the car and then at Steve, and then asks, “Is that your dad?”

Steve - looking somehow worse than yesterday - just blinks in the direction of the car like, “Richie?”

“Get in the car,” Richie practically seethes, barely lets them get in before he starts asking questions like, what the fuck and are you high, right now?”

“I don’t dooo drugs, Dad,” Steve spat out annoyed and Robin, in the backseat, felt compelled to adds, “Drugs do me.”

They both start giggling and can’t stop even when Richie tries to lecture them.

3. Robin meets Jason again when he attacks her.

She doesn’t remember much about the car ride back to Loch Nora or how Steve convinced Richie not to take them to the hospital, but she remembers flopping face first onto Steve’s cloud of a bed. She remembers him taking her shoes off for her and pulling the covers up.

Then she is rudely woken up by a hand yanking her out of bed and big arms wrapping around her head. They’re barely there before Steve is shoving them off her like, “Fuck off, Jason.”

“Carver?” She asks but, no. It’s the dick from the mall. She is ignored while Jason prattles on about how it’s not his fault that Steve looks so much like a girl that he confused him with one. Then he’s whistling about how Steve has a girl in his bed and how surprising that is to them considering they all thought he was a queer.

Robin stiffens beside him. New queer ally, Steve Harrington, not wanting her to be uncomfortable, blurts out, “What if I am?”

And the room goes quiet. Steve’s quiet. Jason’s frozen. Richie, coming in through the door, wasn’t moving. This family doesn’t really paint a picture of unconditional love and acceptance so Robin throws her entire (unsuccessful) theater career into use and slugs Steve in the arm with a snort like, “Yeah, right. With all the girls you flirt with? Ha!”

And everything comes back to life. The hospital conversation comes up and morphs into an argument immediately. Robin is just happy to fade into the background and observe.

4. Robin probably should’ve met Claire that day too but the hospital was an apparent disaster. She actually meets Claire randomly at Family Video.

She sees a woman who’s kinda cute come in and peruse the shelves. She comes to the counter where Robin is on register and Steve is stocking candy right next to her.

She’s carrying The Muppet Movie and makes small talk about watching it with her kids, and never looks twice in Steve’s directly. She’s not in the system and just laughs, “It’s probably under my maiden name, Harrington.”

Robin gives her a tight smile and finishes the transaction. Claire leaves with barely a ‘bye’ to her brother and Robin decides right there that she hates them all.

[daydreamsandcloudnines]

Homeboy so pretty even when he's yappin

I clap my hand everytime I see him. THAT'S 👏 MY👏 SON 👏

Then his beauty just intensifies when he's with Mike

'like you can contain any of this'

[cloudycleric]

my mom wants me to paint this mural but with mike & will. one thousand million notes & i’ll do it